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Why did you have to go.. I know why, but, why? Heh. And so I keep asking myself the same questions every day and hope that you'll come back one of these days. But that's like wishing on a star. In other words, wishing for something so badly, which will never come true.

Sure life is hard. But it's never been easy to begin with anyway. I miss you so much. But I'll be missing you forever now, so I think it's wise to start.

Counting down the days is like counting how many days I have left to live lol. Not that I'm living anyway but, I wish I could just get out of this dark hole and start winning some battles again. These days, all I've done is lose. Everything I was good at, I'm becoming a big loser now. I guess I deserve it.

But enough with feeling very sorry for myself. I just want the pain to stop. I just want my heart to stop bleeding. Every time I look at you, a part of me breaks a little more. What am I suppose to do? Run away from here and never come back? Deactivate all my accounts? What am I supposed to do? You tell me baby. You tell me what am I supposed to do. I wish I could run away and never come back.

But I have a family, and I can't leave them behind. Being the most pious one in my family, I have to set some kind of example. I need to be a role model. Not a fail insane person who has given up on life. But I just can't stop loving you, no matter how much I try.

It's been so long now. Felt like years has passed me by. I wish Allah took pity on me. I wish He would grant me His compassion. I just can't take anymore pain. I just want the pain to stop. I don't know what to do anymore.